he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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