He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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