glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
