we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I understand Curling. That high.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
