Fuck appropriateness.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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