y did u give ur computer a hand job?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
