Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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