...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
