guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
