just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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