Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
