My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
