get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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