Welp...herpes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
