I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
