The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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