Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
