Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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