sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
