The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
