I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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