I need help removing her.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
