so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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