That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize