I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
