Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
