One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i will never coherently bang her
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
