I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
