Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
