Whod you bang
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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