So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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