please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
two words...techno handjob
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
