im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
