dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
