Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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