I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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