We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We got so high we made milksteak
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
