why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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