I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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