you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
