I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
