what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
honey bunches of taint.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
