You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Bring me that man meat
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
