that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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