Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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