After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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