even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
