Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
