Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize