so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
