): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
